4 Parenting Types and How They Can Affect Toddlers & Preschool Children

Parenting during the toddler and preschool years is both rewarding and challenging. At this stage, children are rapidly developing emotionally, socially, and cognitively. The parenting types implemented at this stage shape their long-term development.

It is important to understand how each parenting style affects toddlers and preschool children. Your parenting approach at this stage can also influence how your child responds to challenges like tantrums or picky eating, two common hurdles for toddlers.

4 Parenting Styles

Parenting types are generally categorized into four main styles. Each has a unique impact on toddlers’ and preschoolers’ behavior, emotional regulation, and social development.

1. Authoritative Parenting Style

Authoritative parenting combines high expectations with warmth and responsiveness. In this parenting style, parents establish rules and consequences, providing clear explanations for them. Children can share their opinions freely, but the decision is still in the parents’ hands.

This parenting style strikes a balance between discipline and nurturing, as parents provide emotional support to their children, which is considered the most beneficial for children’s healthy development and self-esteem.

Children who grow up with this type of parenting often develop into confident, responsible, and emotionally mature individuals. It also creates a secure attachment between parent and child.

The key characteristics of this parenting style are clear boundaries and consistent rules, open communication, high responsiveness and emotional support, encouragement of independence and decision-making, and the use of positive discipline strategies, such as redirection or natural consequences.

An example of an authoritative parenting style is including children in meal preparation. The child can choose what they want for dinner for the night or the week. This helps them eat better because they are involved in the decision-making and the preparation, which is helpful in dealing with picky eating.

2. Permissive Parenting Style

Permissive parents are affectionate and responsive but tend to avoid setting rules or implementing consistent discipline. That is why parents with this type of parenting style often consider themselves to be their child’s best friend. However, their children often enjoy freedom but lack the guidance needed to develop self-regulation.

This style may seem nurturing; however, it can create challenges. Children raised with permissive parenting may struggle with frustration tolerance, responsibility, and respecting boundaries outside the home, particularly when entering structured environments such as school.

The key characteristics of this parenting style are low demand and high responsiveness from the parent, few or inconsistent rules, avoidance of conflict, and high freedom with limited guidance.

An example of a permissive parenting style is allowing children to choose their dinner, even if it means preparing something special just for the child. This can cause picky eating or unhealthy eating habits.

3. Authoritarian Parenting Style

Authoritarian parents implement strict rules and demand obedience. They have high standards and use punishment to control the child’s behavior. There is little room for discussion as the child is expected to obey the parents.

This style tends to focus more on control than connection. Children may comply with rules in the short term, and they are good at following instructions. However, they often develop a fear of punishment rather than internal motivation to behave in a certain way, which can lead to low self-esteem, anxiety, and difficulty making decisions.

The key characteristics of this parenting style are high demands, low responsiveness, limited emotional connection, emphasis on obedience and discipline, and rules are implemented without explanation.

An example of this parenting style is preparing the same meal as everyone else during dinner, and finishing everything on their plate. Parents will not discuss why certain foods are selected that day or why the selected foods are good for the child’s health.

Children with authoritarian parents may appear well-behaved, but they often lack the emotional support needed to build confidence or problem-solving skills. The lack of open communication may also limit their ability to express emotions in healthy ways, potentially leading to future emotional and psychological problems.

4. Neglectful Parenting Style

This type of parenting style is exactly like how the name suggests. Parents may meet basic needs like food and shelter, but often do not offer emotional or physical support. They pay little attention to the child and therefore only have a few limitations or expectations.

The absence of guidance and support can have a profound impact on a child’s emotional development. Toddlers and preschoolers raised in neglectful environments may struggle with forming secure attachments, regulating emotions, and developing trust.

The key characteristics of this parenting style are low demand, low responsiveness, minimal communication or supervision, and a lack of emotional involvement. Basic needs are met, but everything else is minimal. This type of parenting often occurs unconsciously to mental health issues, single parenting, working late shifts, etc.

An example of this type of parenting is not consistently buying or preparing meals. This will lead the child to be constantly concerned about when they will eat or what they will eat. Over time, this can develop into a behavior that shows a preoccupation with food.

Children raised by uninvolved parents often have difficulty in school, display behavioral problems, and experience poor mental health outcomes. Consistent emotional neglect during early childhood can have long-term effects on brain development and relationships.

The Ideal Parenting Types for Early Childhood

Children begin learning about themselves and the world around them during their early childhood years. This is a critical period for their development, which is why choosing the right parenting type is essential.

Authoritative parenting is a better option during this early stage of children’s development because it provides a secure foundation for the child. Unlike other parenting types, authoritative parenting provides a space for children to explore, learn, and grow.

Parents provide clear rules, loving support, and respect for the child’s opinion. This will help children to be more resilient, confident, and encourage cooperation. Some of the benefits for toddlers and preschoolers include improved emotional regulation, enhanced social skills, increased independence, and higher self-esteem.

Unlike authoritarian parenting, which may demand respect without offering it, authoritative parenting models mutual respect. Additionally, unlike permissive parenting, it provides the structure that young children need to feel secure and safe.

Tips to Apply Authoritative Parenting for Toddlers and Preschoolers

If you are considering implementing authoritative parenting types for your child, here are practical tips you can follow:

1. Set Clear and Consistent Rules

Children and preschoolers feel more secure if they know what to expect. Therefore, using simple language, ensure that you explain the rules clearly and consistently apply them. This will help them learn boundaries and feel safe.

2. Explain the Reason Behind Rules and Decisions

Do not only enforce a rule because this can create confusion. Help your child understand the reason behind it. For example, you can explain to them that cleaning up toys is important so that people don’t trip over them. This teaches cause and effect that are easy to understand.

3. Be Warm and Supportive

Respond to your child’s emotions with empathy even when you’re trying to set limits or correct their behavior. Comforting an upset child shows them that strong emotions are okay and they are not alone in managing them.

4. Encourage Independence

Encourage independence by giving them age-appropriate choices. This will help them practice making decisions. Over time, this will lead to confidence and improve their problem-solving skills, which are beneficial for their future.

5. Use Positive Discipline

Allowing the child to voice their opinion and make decisions does not mean that they are not disciplined. You can use positive discipline that focuses on teaching rather than punishing when negative behavior occurs. Redirect the bad behavior with explanations and practice.

6. Show the Behavior that You Want to See

Children learn by watching everything around them. Therefore, the best way to teach them good behavior is by showing them that you’re doing it too. Demonstrate patience, kindness, and healthy coping mechanisms for stress. This way, your child will follow your example.

7. Actively Listen to Your Child

Lastly, provide your child with space and time to share their feelings and thoughts without interruption. Listen to them carefully and show empathy towards what they are feeling. This will build trust between you and the child, helping your child feel valued and understood by their parents.

Parenting is not about being perfect and without flaw, because parenting is not easy, and every child is different. Instead, parenting is about being present, responsive, and willing to grow alongside the child.

Although each family has its unique dynamics, authoritative parenting types provide the best foundation for healthy development in toddlers. By setting boundaries with warmth, encouraging independence, and maintaining open communication, parents can raise confident, emotionally secure, and socially capable children.

The early years are brief and typically last only a few years. However, the habits that you form and the love you show in this critical period will last a lifetime and shape their future.

Which parenting style do you relate to most? Let us know in the comments, or share this with another parent who’s navigating the toddler years too.